Becoming a mommy blogger was never a set out plan of mine. I was a plus size fashion blogger before falling pregnant and leading up to Maddie’s birth, I had no idea what would happen to my blogging career. Little did I know that my passion project would evolve into something bigger than what I had thought it would be.
Two years later I now proudly call myself a mommy blogger and thousands of moms log onto my blog each and every month to read what I have to say. Is it daunting? Hell yes! After all I have only been a mom for just over two years and I am a first time mom. I have zero ‘experience’ in anything ‘mommying’ and all that I do (now) know has been from trusting my way.
Lets be real – we are showered in advice! When pregnant and I was that one mommy who rolled her eyes (internally) and thought I will do it my way! This is why I absolutely love Baby Dove’s campaign. #TrustYourWay. Lets be real – as a moms, we are faced with an infinite number of moments where we have to make decisions about how to care for our baby. We often have to make these decisions by turning to friends, family and other moms who all often give conflicting advice, left right and centre, and the information are take in from a wide variety of sources, can be overwhelming. The bottom line is only WE as the MOTHER of our BABY/CHILD know what the RIGHT decisions are for them and sometimes even unwanted.
This is one of the many reasons why I absolutely adore Baby Dove and their goal of understanding the modern day struggles and needs of moms world wide and how they are aiming to remind us moms that there are no scripts for how to care for our
babies, because when it comes to our children, only we know best. We know the hungry
cry, the cough that matters and the nappy that needs changing. So there’s only one
thing to remember, which is to trust yourself that you are doing the right thing.
When it comes to your child, you know best, so #TrustYourWay.
In light of their awesome campaign which has been featuring #RealMoms – (yup, me included – a few of you have spotted Maddie and I on their social media pages and have showed your amazing love and support towards us – thank you), I have a message on my heart that I’d like to share with you all here.
Over the past month or so I have had a couple of comments passed to me by my followers both to my face and in messages sent directly to me telling me I am ‘the perfect mom’. While this should be a massive compliment, it saddens me.
Here’s why… I am far from perfect and I cannot help but think that by my image of ‘perfection’ to you makes you feel bad about the kind of mother you are?
Do I think there is such a thing as the ‘perfect’ mom? No! There is only such a thing as a real mom! I found this info graphic from Baby Dove incredibly interesting and I would like to share it with you:
These stats are really eye opening – it is that nine out of 10 mothers feel the pressure to be the perfect parent and 78% question if they are going a good enough job!
The reality is what we consume on social media as well as other forms of media including TV and magazines are a huge factor in our confidence as mothers. We often feel bombarded with various messages encouraging us to be better and do better and this chips away at our confidence. The truth is being a mom is hard! We make massive sacrifices for our children, take away from ‘me time’ and from doing things that once made us happy and we are often overworked and utterly exhausted!
I ran a poll on my Instagram feed yesterday asking the local moms who follow me on Instagram a couple of questions.
Does your idea of a real mom look like an old fashioned mom who happily cleaned the house? 83% of you said no.
Do you feel pressure to be the perfect parent? 75% of you sad yes.
Do you see your parenting style portrayed in the media? 64% said no.
I asked if you take the time to do something that makes you happy at least once a week… 82% of you said you did.
I asked a moms to message me what it means to them to be a real mom… here are a few of my favourite responses:
“To shower your child with love and let them know they are the most important thing in the world, for their needs to be above everything else, to give them all that they need to thrive in life and just be there for them.”
The real and raw honesty of the messages I received have honestly blown me away. We are all real moms, we aren’t perfect but we are perfect for our children!
I thought I would share what being a real mom means to me…
– I sometimes leave the home without having brushed my hair
– I often lose my temper and don’t recognise myself
– I cry, being a mom is hard!
– I admit defeat, most days! Toddlers have never ending energy levels – boy, I just cannot keep up.
– I put my needs last and Maddie’s always first.
– I often forget to eat breakfast or lunch.
– Learning how to hold your wee in… cause their is no going to the loo when they demand your attention. Breastfeeding moms will relate to this one.
– Balancing work life, love life and mom life…
– Loving whole heartedly and unconditionally like you have never loved before!
– Getting super emotional about everything!
– You get to meet the most amazing moms through being a mom!
– You survive on minimal sleep.
– Fighting through the illness, pain and suffering cause that little pill that will instantly -take that migraine away will harm my child through my breastmilk.
– Becoming fitter than I have ever been.
– Learning how to be a disciplinarian! Man this one is hard!
– Keeping my word to build up my child’s trust in me.
– Thinking ahead of every single situation before it happens.
– Having super sonic reflexes!
– Learning how to let go and ask for help.
– Investing in friendships that will be both beneficial for my child and our family.
– Being easy on myself. I can be my worst critic.
– Loving and being proud of my body! Man, I am a super woman!
– Knowing all the nursery rhymes and singing them in your head at 2am in the morning.
– Working hard to show my daughter one day that women can be strong, successful and independent!
– Loving my husband. It is the greatest gift I can give my child – is to see her parents utterly adore each other.
– Learning how to deal with the mom guilt.
– And my personal favourite….
As a real mom I love to:
– Put God first and pray about everything.
– Make time for my husband and our relationship – that means weekly date nights when possible.
– Spend quality time with Maddie.
– Take her on ice-cream or milkshake dates.
– I love taking her to playdates.
– Explore Durban and expose her to as much as I can.
– Take her to the library.
– Cuddle her.
– Photograph her.
– Talk to her and read her stories.
– Breastfeed her… it is my special thing only her and I can do together.
– See her interact and love her dad.
– Have a social life and making time for girls dinners.
– Indulging in some pampering at Buff Parlour.
– Work! My job is something I find great joy and satisfaction in. Being a working mother makes me a better mother.
– See my daughter smile.
– Investing time into my hobbies and finding the time to scrapbook – it unwinds me and makes me happy.
To conclude I really hope you enjoyed reading this post. I love being a mom and sharing my journey of motherhood with you. You may only see a highlights reel of the moments I treasure as a mother to my daughter but don’t be fooled, I struggle, get tired, have moments of doubt, cry very often and admit defeat to my husband very often. It is one hell of a roller coaster ride but trusting my way and using my late mom as my inspiration rather than seeking perfection through the parenting portrayed in the media is how I manage to stay real in this journey. I hope this has helped you trust your way and remain a real mom, always…
In celebration of Mother’s Day and being a REAL MOM, I have an amazing Baby Dove hamper to giveaway to one of my lucky followers. All you have to do is share
your story or an image of what real moms do on your Instagram page. Tag me as well as @babydovesa in your caption/pic and use the hashtag #TrustYourWay and #RealMoms. Good luck!
Disclaimer: This is a paid collaboration with Baby Dove SA. All views and opinions expressed in this post are my own and are in no way influenced.
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